Even More Dating Website Conversation Fails

I still have yet to receive any initial messages or replies to messages from any girls on dating websites, but I continue to receive a lot of messages from guys. Here is what I found in my inbox today…

Random Guy: every see that girl on the street that catches your eye and you need to get to know her… can it happen on the internet? i think it just did :)
Myself: eh…Sorry, I’m not into those corny kind of lines.

Random Guy: hey sexy lady how you doing tonight ? Up for a drink or smoke
Myself: Sorry, as I mentioned on my profile, I’m currently interested in dating someone female
Random Guy: Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t read that lol. Good luck
Myself: Yeah, you should read profiles before messaging people…You’ll find a better match. I actually wrote it three times. Thanks, good luck to you too
[I mean I know “guys only look at the pictures” and I don’t expect anyone to read every word, but come on, you have to at least skim the profile if you’re going to message someone!]

Random Guy: first let me start of by saying how incredible u look beautiful , i mean gorgeous! now this is not be the best opening liner, but i wanted to know if the idea of pursuing an interracial interaction something u would be interested in? specifically with a [RACE CENSORED] man?!
I may not be the best looking guy in the world, but if theres one thing i know how to do is have a good time! Ull feel really good after a night out with with me, promise ;)
Myself: Sorry, as I mentioned on my profile, I’m currently interested in dating someone female.
Random Guy: dont u want a guy on the side until u find what ur looking for! soldier have a reputation of getting the job done?!
Myself: I’ve spent [MY EXACT AGE CENSORED] years dating guys, I’m taking a break.
Random Guy: i wasnt talking about dating, lol! but okay, good luck to u!
[We exchange a few messages where I explain why I’m not interested in starting a sexual relationship with him and he continues to question me about if I’ve been with different races, or with someone who’s a “girl or female” –Because you know, they’re pretty different.]
Random Guy: u would actually be the first girl i have been with in like forever, lol!
[Was I supposed to take pity on him or something?]
Myself: But I won’t be. Sorry, I’m not interested.
Random Guy: ok, well theres nothing i could say to change ur mind! when u feel an itch, u can hit me up!! its all related though, even if ppl cant see it or feel it right away, its all related!
[Yeah, because I’m going to think of him after this conversation ends.]

*SIGH*

Dating Website Conversation #10

Still kind of slow on the dating front heading into this week. Mr. Perfect Profile from one dating website, never replied. I got a little frustrated (or annoyed/ disappointed/ desperate/ “other fitting words”) and sent a follow-up message after all. It’s kind of pathetic, but at that point you really have nothing to lose and if it gives you a bit of closure to call someone out on their rudeness in not replying, so be it. Not all that long ago I did an experiment where I wrote back a little survey to each person who ignored me. It was like: “You did not reply because a) You didn’t like my pictures, b) You’ve started seeing someone, c)…” and so on. Now, I knew it made me sound kind of nuts, but honestly what did it matter what it prompted those people to think of me at that point? Surprisingly I got a few replies, some honest answers, and some insight –Almost none of which was even very insulting. It was just an experiment, though. -Not something I typically do. If I did, I’d need someone to make a blog like this just to post the stuff I send out! Anyway, I just have a simple/silly conversation to share with you tonight. It’s more silly on my part than theirs, but that’s what you get when you send one-word initial messages if you get anything!…

Random Guy: Hi!
Myself: Hello
…A lot of time and planning seems to go into your initial messages, huh? A little “h”, some “i”, some capitalization to suggest intelligence of the grammatical kind –and to top it off an exclamation point for some added jazz.
…That was your thought process behind the whole message, wasn’t it?
Random Guy: I’m sure you will elicit other, more complex messages of which you are more deserving.
Take care and best wishes!
Myself: ;-)
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Rejecting Your Rejection

About a week ago I got a message from a guy on a dating site which really wasn’t a bad message. He sent me a well written paragraph about what he felt we had in common, things he found interesting on my profile, and some things he liked. I didn’t have time to reply when I read it, and later went to his profile and found that I really wasn’t interested after all. A couple of days went by and he wrote back…

Random Guy: Now i know why u girls dont respond, because you get nasty rants if you say ur not interested. I’ll tell u what. Lol you would do the same thing (rant) if u send out 50+ with 2 replies. Lol and 1 was a HS friend so that doesnt count. I just dont get it. I’m not sending msgs to models and I dont think my msgs are creepy or anything. What gives? I hope u have some dates lined up and not just declining everyone because u find one thing wrong and ur looking for mr. Perfect. Anyway, thats my rants for the day. I offically quit. Good luck =)
Myself: Actually, I reply to nearly all of the messages I get on here, even when I’m not interested…However, I only do it about once a week. I’m currently dating someone I just met from here, so I’m not interested in meeting anyone new at this time.
And FYI, 95% of the messages I send out don’t get replies. Don’t let it get to you so much.
Random Guy: Lol, I have like a billion things to say to that but its just going to come across all negative so I’ll spare us both and say…..Thanks =)

His first message now sounds like it came from someone else entirely. He thinks the girls on these sites aren’t as attractive as models and therefore we should respond? I’m happy I didn’t respond now that I saw what a jerk he turned into a moment later. -And what is with saying he had “like a billion of things” to say to my reply that would have been negative?! Yeah, I could come up with a bunch of random insults too, but I didn’t need to make him aware of that.

I replied to this message before going on my second date with intellectual-conversation-guy which I figured I’d mention is not happening again. I made up my mind that the dating vibe wasn’t there, but he was a nice guy so I made a sincere attempt at asking for friendship with him. I know, I know it’s such a line to say “let’s just be friends” but seeing that we’d only met each other twice, had had such long conversations, and got along with each other, I thought it’d be weird to just never speak again. But he wasn’t interested in my proposal and then actually tried to turn it around like he was the one rejecting me. I got some sort of apology and we’re not right for each other reply. Hey, you can’t try to reject me after I’ve already turned you down, it doesn’t work that way! After his last text, “Glad we can both be mature about this” I was even further assured I had no interest in him and suppose I’ll have to start the dating cycle from the beginning yet again. At least this time I didn’t get very far into it before returning to the start. I want someone fun again this time. Geez, I’m upsetting guys left and right lately.
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Unanswered Dating Website Messages

I’ve been going through the old messages in my inbox and I came across a few I never replied to from a couple of years ago…

Random Guy: peek aboo I see you
[…If that’s not creepy as a first message on an online dating website, I don’t know what is.]

Random Guy: I’m awesome. You’re awesome. Let’s make awesome babies… woah woah hold on young lady. Let’s take it slow and get to know each other first. Me + you + frisbee + banana split, let’s do it
[…What?]

Random Guy: I found your profile interesting. I am not sure why; perhaps because it is well-written, and because you seem to have such a clear idea of who you are and what you want.
I don’t know if you’re still seeing someone, but I am, so I’m not looking for a date. Just a little conversation, and maybe a friend.
Anyway, our tastes do differ on many things, but I got a sense that we share something more essential in common, and might get along. And, of course, conversation is more interesting when you disagree now and then….
I love cats; my girlfriend and I have two, and we talk about them all the time.
[…We have nothing in common and you have a girlfriend, but you’re messaging me when my profile indicates I’m looking for someone to date.]

Random Guy: You are ridiculous.
[…Okay?]

Random Guy: re you having a fun night? I’m pretty new to this have you been on here for long? I definitely noticed a few freaks so I’m going to like this!
Anyway I liked your profile and if you like mine then message me back. If you didn’t like mine let me know what to change so at least I can get it perfect!
[…Because that’s what I want, someone who will design their profile to be what I’d like to hear and nothing like them.]

Random Guy: Hi !
I took the time to read your profile. Nice job…lol..Took me 3 years to read it :P. And I can understand some people may think you are picky or t2 specific but I think you just know what you want and that is rare nowadays.Let’s hang out. I think we could be great friends.We have many things in common.
[NAME CENSORED]
[NAME CENSORED]
[NAME CENSORED]
[10 Minutes Later…]
Random Guy: I can tell you that the type of guy you look for.Is using a website like this :). And I am not talking about my self. Well……Maybe……Only a little bit… JA ! I mean if not, how would you expect to find it here O.o ? just being a bit Philosophical. :P
[NAME CENSORED]
[The next day…]
Random Guy: So you don’t wanna say hi ??
[A week later…]
Random Guy: [MY USERNAME CENSORED] indeed.
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The Dating Website Profile That Started This Blog

Honestly, what really sparked the idea for this blog was someone’s dating website profile I came across a couple of days ago. I received the message, “hey what’s up” from a random guy and I replied after I proceeded to read his profile. The page contained a long winded paragraph beginning with “I’m divorced. (Well, technically still married, but I haven’t spoken to her in over a year so it shouldn’t bother you.)” –And continuing with a detailed record of when and how they were married and that it was only because he found it to be beneficial on paper. He stated the marriage was purely for her to gain citizenship. He goes on to say that he doesn’t have any children and his wife is living in another country so none of his marriage should be a problem to anyone. The paragraph ends with “I probably won’t get divorced until I meet someone new.” The next section of his profile mentions that he used to sell pot, followed by a section in which he claims he has unpaid parking tickets. It sounded more like some sort bait for the government to find than anything else. Confused as to why someone would have this on their dating profile, I replied expressing my amusement. This continued for quite a few messages. I will only post a few excerpts from it as it’s incredibly long. I’d love to quote his exact profile, but he deleted all I’d mentioned during our conversation. Apparently he agreed with my opinion, but not enough to admit it. His profile really spoke for itself and I wish I’d have saved a copy for this!

Also, note that I didn’t call him any names or insult him as a person. I apologized for hurting his feelings multiple times, and ignored the names he called me –and he called me quite a few. I even ignored when he insulted my appearance by saying he should have checked my profile picture before messaging me (though, it’s impossible to send someone a message without first viewing their profile picture…) -Yet he still concluded that I had been a negative force. He even said that his marriage wasn’t any of my business, though he’d publicly written all about it on his page and messaged me. I think this was the profile in which I felt, “Now I’ve heard it all” about. It contained nearly every “no-no” in the book for your dating website profile and I just thought “And these are the types of people I have to weed through on here. I bet a lot of people would share my opinion on this…”

Random Guy: the way you sound-bited my marriage history really makes it sound bad.
Myself: I copy and pasted what you wrote on your page.
Random Guy: being an ex-weed dealer isn’t illegal nor is being married on paper
i feel stupid having to explain this, but you were pretty off.
Random Guy: I married my girlfriens so she could come to the US. There are legal proceedings for that. Plus its none of your biz. I can’t get arrested for selling pot 10 years ago. Congrats on being a negative force in the universe today. You’ve done well.
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