Misleading

I can’t say I’m doing too well in the dating scene right now. A guy sent me a message with a slightly odd comment about one of my pictures, but his pictures were attractive and he had an interesting profile, so we wound up chatting for a few weeks anyway. I was interested in meeting him in person to find out if he was the good kind of weird or the bad kind. With some people, it’s difficult to tell online. He had asked me to get a cup of coffee (I never know if I should take that literally or just as a saying) and I accepted, but then we just went back to our conversation. One night I sent him my number saying that he should text me if he wanted to meet up, and instead of a text, I got another message with his number, saying I could do the same. I think this was around the moment I realized as much as I don’t want to set any rules or restrictions in dating, I need to be pursued and I’m not into pursing someone. It’s silly in my mind, but I can’t deny it.

Eventually, I texted him. We both expressed that we would be free that weekend. He still hadn’t named a time or a place, so I decided to make it easier. I told him that my day at work had been stressful and I was craving a martini. He didn’t reply. The weekend arrived and I texted him twice asking if he was free to meet up, but each time he’d just throw it back to me. I didn’t go out that weekend. Then I remembered that his profile mentioned he was also interested in meeting some people just for friendship instead of dating. I started thinking maybe he had just messaged me seeking friendship and not a date.

Being me, I asked him a few days later. He told me that he saw potential for both in messaging me and just kind of wanted to see where it went. Well, that’s fine and all but I’m not really on that site to seek friendships with guys at this time. It does usually wind up that way with most of the people I meet, but it wasn’t my initial intention. I let him know about my need to be pursued and he said that he typically feels he needs to be pursued as well. I told him that I was more interested in dating than finding new friends from the site, but I added that I probably wouldn’t mind making new female friends so that I would have friends to go to gay bars with. To this he suggested being my “wingman.” There went the possibility of someone new to date. I told him that it hadn’t really worked out the last time I went with a straight guy friend, and he told me that he hadn’t really thought of himself as a “straight” guy before. Our conversation continued, but the potential for someone new to date did not.

So, the closest I came to dating someone recently was speaking to a guy I thought wanted to date me, to it turning out he just wanted to be friends, and ending up with him questioning his own sexual preferences. I’d say, yeah, I’m not doing too well with the whole dating scene right now.

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