Helping Friends Date

I mentioned that I went out later than I wanted to be out the other night. I took the train home around 3am with a friend when the following conversation occurred. It related to dating, so I figured I’d share it…

Female Friend: “You think that guy over there is gay?”
Myself: “Who?”
Female Friend: “The one in the grey sweater. Don’t look now, he’s looking!”
Myself: *looks* “Hm…No, not necessarily, why?”
Female Friend: “Are you sure?”
Myself: “I don’t know. I wouldn’t assume he is, but you can’t always tell. Why are you asking?”
Female Friend: “Because I’m about to give him my number and I wanted to make sure.”
Myself: “Nah, I don’t think he is, but even if he is, there’s no rejection to take personally and feel bad about. It says nothing on your part.”
Female Friend: “But I don’t want to be rejected! I’m scared, can you do it for me?”
Myself: “You want me to hand him a scrap of paper with your number on it? He’ll think it’s from me.”
Female Friend: “I wrote a note on it. It says ‘You are very handsome’ and I put my number and signed it [NAME CENSORED]
Myself: “But he doesn’t know that’s your name. Then I have to tell him it’s from you when you’re sitting right there. What are we in school and you want me to pass a note to a guy you like, and tell him it’s from you?”
Female Friend: “Yes! He’s really handsome and- Shhhh! Shhh!”
Handsome Guy On Train: *smiles at Female Friend*
Female Friend: “And he knows it!” *smiles back & waves*
Myself: “Okay, there, he smiled and made eye contact, go give the note to him.”
Female Friend: “No I can’t, what if he has a girlfriend!”
Myself: “So? Then once again, him rejecting you has nothing to do with you!”
Female Friend: “But I don’t want him to turn me down! Do you think he has a girlfriend?”
Myself: “He doesn’t have a girlfriend, he just smiled at you. And if he does, he’s a cheating asshole, so you’re not missing out on anything.”
Female Friend: “That’s true. But I still can’t go over there, I’m too nervous.”
Myself: “Look at his hand, he has a stamp on it. He was just at some bar or club, he’s been drinking just like everyone else on this train, just an hour ago you could’ve been in the same bar as him and it would’ve been the same thing to go up to him.”
Female Friend: “Yeah, but I don’t want him to tell me no! You don’t think he has a girlfriend? You can tell by looking at someone.”
Myself: “No you can’t! People break up all the time, you don’t know when someone is in-between seeing people and single. They don’t look any different!”
Female Friend: “Well, I guess so. When are we getting off the train?”
Myself: “Now, it’s the next stop.”
Female Friend: *Walks up to guy and smiles and hands him the note.*
Handsome Guy On Train: *takes note, smiles, and winks*
[Female Friend & I get off the train]
Female Friend: *waves outside train window as it pulls away*
Myself: “Don’t date him, he’s going to cheat on you.”
Female Friend: “Why?”
Myself: “The way he winked. He was too used to being hit on. He doesn’t look sincere. Don’t answer if he calls you. –Unless you just want to do him, then that’s fine. Go ahead. Protected.”
[Because I suddenly became an expert on making assumptions about people after that haha…]

5 thoughts on “Helping Friends Date

  1. Hahaha! I love your sudden change in tone at the end– you’re probably right though!!!

    Also: I had a girl chase me down in a parking lot to ask me for my number for her guyfriend who’d seen me walk out of a bar. *awkward*

    • I can definitely picture that..A male friend once texted me that he thought the girl sitting across from us on the train was cute after he had gotten off at his stop. So, I went over and talked to her for him, but she had a boyfriend (or so she said.) I like when I can have the courage my friends don’t…Sometimes it’s easier when it’s for a friend’s sake and you don’t have to get any kind of direct rejection.

  2. Maybe I’m too forward when it comes to dating… but is there anything that says she couldn’t have just struck up a conversation with him to find out all that information. Once she was pretty sure he wasn’t an asshole, she could give him the note. If he seemed full of himself or had any other red flags, then she could just leave. No phone ignorance necessary… or worrying….

    • Well she wasn’t sober and had a male friend sleeping on her shoulder. I’m not very confrontational either. I’ve had a little piece of paper and mini pen in my purse for years just in case I ever want to hand my number to a someone as I get off the train…Still have yet to do so, though. Maybe one day…

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