giving out number | Tired Of Dating

At 13 years old I swore off asking people out after trying it for the first time and getting rejected by my crush. Last night I made another attempt. I was at a restaurant with 8 others to celebrate a friend’s birthday, which was fun and all but I had my eye on the waiter/bus boy. He was sort of like a hot Harry Potter, which was just my taste if that doesn’t sound attractive to you. He poured us glasses of water and I asked if they served a drink that wasn’t on the menu. Hot Harry Potter explained that it was his first day and he’d have to get our waitress to let me know. I couldn’t believe it got better, he had a sexy accent too! The birthday girl asked where he was from and the accent was confirmed. By the time the waitress came back I’d lost interest in my beverage request. I started chugging down my water even though I wasn’t that thirsty, when I noticed a bottle of water on our table about halfway through. “Excuse me?” I asked Hot Harry Potter, “Can I please have some more ice?” He whisked away my glass. “He’s pretty hot,” the birthday girl said. “Why do you think I finished my water? I’m not thirsty,” I replied. She said, “But there’s water on the table!” and without missing a beat, I nodded, “Hence my request for more ice.” She giggled and was pretty impressed. I’d already surprised myself, honestly.

Upon his return, as he placed my glass on the table I asked him how long he’d been here and we started chatting. He was just here for the summer and a few years younger than my usual cut off for dating, but I hadn’t lost interest. I whipped out my business card from the office, jotted down my cell phone number and told him to call me if he needed a friend around here. He glanced down at it before tucking into his pocket and I asked his name. Even his name was hot. I nod, “——, nice.” He reads my name off the card and gets back to his shift. That was pretty much that, except a few times we exchanged somewhat personal smiles and giggles when he came back to ask how our table was. My group had asked for separate checks, so I also made sure to tip well on mine. “Well, you work quickly,” “That was such a power move,” “I can’t believe you just did that,” my friends were astonished after I’d handed over my card. I don’t think he’ll call (or text…or e-mail me at the office, or even show up to my office now that he knows where I work) but it was more about the thrill of doing it. I’m not even sure about what came over me to do it, but it certainly was fun, and I don’t even see myself getting let down if I don’t hear back from him. I guess I’ve come a long way since jr high school.

I mentioned that I went out later than I wanted to be out the other night. I took the train home around 3am with a friend when the following conversation occurred. It related to dating, so I figured I’d share it…

Female Friend: “You think that guy over there is gay?”
Myself: “Who?”
Female Friend: “The one in the grey sweater. Don’t look now, he’s looking!”
Myself: *looks* “Hm…No, not necessarily, why?”
Female Friend: “Are you sure?”
Myself: “I don’t know. I wouldn’t assume he is, but you can’t always tell. Why are you asking?”
Female Friend: “Because I’m about to give him my number and I wanted to make sure.”
Myself: “Nah, I don’t think he is, but even if he is, there’s no rejection to take personally and feel bad about. It says nothing on your part.”
Female Friend: “But I don’t want to be rejected! I’m scared, can you do it for me?”
Myself: “You want me to hand him a scrap of paper with your number on it? He’ll think it’s from me.”
Female Friend: “I wrote a note on it. It says ‘You are very handsome’ and I put my number and signed it [NAME CENSORED]”
Myself: “But he doesn’t know that’s your name. Then I have to tell him it’s from you when you’re sitting right there. What are we in school and you want me to pass a note to a guy you like, and tell him it’s from you?”
Female Friend: “Yes! He’s really handsome and- Shhhh! Shhh!”
Handsome Guy On Train: *smiles at Female Friend*
Female Friend: “And he knows it!” *smiles back & waves*
Myself: “Okay, there, he smiled and made eye contact, go give the note to him.”
Female Friend: “No I can’t, what if he has a girlfriend!”
Myself: “So? Then once again, him rejecting you has nothing to do with you!”
Female Friend: “But I don’t want him to turn me down! Do you think he has a girlfriend?”
Myself: “He doesn’t have a girlfriend, he just smiled at you. And if he does, he’s a cheating asshole, so you’re not missing out on anything.”
Female Friend: “That’s true. But I still can’t go over there, I’m too nervous.”
Myself: “Look at his hand, he has a stamp on it. He was just at some bar or club, he’s been drinking just like everyone else on this train, just an hour ago you could’ve been in the same bar as him and it would’ve been the same thing to go up to him.”
Female Friend: “Yeah, but I don’t want him to tell me no! You don’t think he has a girlfriend? You can tell by looking at someone.”
Myself: “No you can’t! People break up all the time, you don’t know when someone is in-between seeing people and single. They don’t look any different!”
Female Friend: “Well, I guess so. When are we getting off the train?”
Myself: “Now, it’s the next stop.”
Female Friend: *Walks up to guy and smiles and hands him the note.*
Handsome Guy On Train: *takes note, smiles, and winks*
[Female Friend & I get off the train]
Female Friend: *waves outside train window as it pulls away*
Myself: “Don’t date him, he’s going to cheat on you.”
Female Friend: “Why?”
Myself: “The way he winked. He was too used to being hit on. He doesn’t look sincere. Don’t answer if he calls you. –Unless you just want to do him, then that’s fine. Go ahead. Protected.”
[Because I suddenly became an expert on making assumptions about people after that haha…]