Bad Date Dodged

I managed to skip the entire dating process which would’ve wound up a complete waste of time with one dude! Maybe I should “test” everyone this way!…

Red Flag Number One: His initial message mentioned messaging me in the past and him not being sure if I received it because he had internet problems. On this site it’s pretty clear if you sent someone a message or not, as there are multiple ways of confirming it. There must have been a reason I hadn’t replied to his message from his previous profile.

For some reason I ignored the first red flag and we started talking. He asked me what I found physically attractive in a guy. I found that kind of strange to ask as everyone has pictures up, and I’d even made note of some of my “turn offs” on my profile. He was pretty upset by the fact that I’m generally not attracted to guys with facial hair. I don’t really know why he wanted me to further delve into why exactly I wasn’t into it, when it wouldn’t really change anything.

Red Flag Number Two: He said that he thought I would make a good girlfriend because I seemed to be good with communication. I do think I’m pretty good with communication in relationships, but to mention the suggestion of some sort of commitment with another after about 20 minutes of chatting online is a little too soon. Still, for some reason I let it go.

And again, “for some reason” I told him I’d meet him because it was hard to get a real idea of someone on these sites and sent him my number with instructions to text me when he’s free. I really wish I hadn’t noticed the typo in my number the first time I sent it to him and hadn’t corrected myself. Now, I expected to receive a text possibly that night, or maybe (preferably) that weekend about plans to meet. I figured we were done with the website and moving to our cellphones.

Mind you our conversation happened over a couple of hours in the same day. He constantly told me about how I was his type and how great I seemed. I really think you should hold off on all of that until you’ve met someone in person. It just doesn’t come off as very sincere and I’ve really never been flattered by comments about my physical appearance on there, as it’s all solely based on just a few pictures I’ve put up.

Red Flag Number Three: He’s going to my profile every ten minutes. I went on a date with someone like that about a year or two ago, who wound up giving me the vibe of a stalker after we met. Good news is that he finally deleted his account a few days ago.

*He texts me “Hi” at 9:31pm.
*He messages me on the site a few minutes later about how attractive he finds me.
*He texts me that it’s him (Side note, I wasn’t a fan of his name from the start) at 9:43pm.
I’m turned off by the amount of times he’s going to my profile and his message about how attractive I am and how he’s so attracted to me, so I decide to answer his text the next day. It’s kind of late, anyway.
*The next morning he messages me on the site, while I’m at work, at 10:30am “I texted you…”
*He texts me again, while I’m at work at 1:36pm “hello? Why are you blowing me off?”
*Just in case I didn’t get that text, he messages me on the site at 1:50pm, “Why are you blowing me off?”
*Finally, at 2:10pm, while I’m at work he messages me on the site “You’re an asshole.”
We haven’t known each other an entire 24 hours, we haven’t met, it’s been about 12 hours since he first texted me, and he’s calling me an asshole…

Normally, I don’t ignore people. I don’t like being ignored, so I don’t do it to others. I had intended on meeting this guy up until he started to seem creepy. I decided I’d give him a chance to redeem himself and text him back after work, -After all, I sometimes go to bed around 9pm and I’d have been at work the next day, so it wouldn’t be that crazy not to answer him right away. A friend said that I didn’t owe him an explanation for not replying in that time frame, but I figured I’d be honest. I didn’t want him to be left wondering why he was ignored “out of the blue” as I had dealt with myself in the past. Maybe he would stop texting me and we could still meet, even. But, he blew it. Obsessively freaking out about me not answering him for a few hours, and not just giving it a day or so first, really isn’t something I find attractive, magnified when I haven’t even met the person. So, I answered him…

Myself: Dude, you’re freaking me, okay?
I haven’t even met you, I don’t even know that it’s been a full 24 hours since you first messaged me, but somehow I already felt like “Okay, I need some space, let me just reply to him later.” I don’t like when people suddenly ignore me for no reason, so I do my best not to do it to others, which is why I’m replying now, but it’s never “for no reason” -I just don’t usually get to find the reasons out when it happens to me personally.
Red flag number one was that you said you’d messaged me before. It’s rare I don’t reply to a message unless I have a real reason…
Then you said something about how you thought I’d make a good girlfriend, and that felt really fast.
It was kind of weird how you were asking what I found attractive in a guy, which added to it, but I wasn’t going to let it get to me…
Then you said you found me so attractive or something, after we agreed we would meet…You’re just going off of my pictures on here -that’s not a sincere compliment to me unless you see me in person so I’ve always hated getting those kinds of messages on here, and between that and you going to my profile every 10 minutes, as someone female I have to let you know it makes me imagine you’re jerking off to my pictures and I find it really creepy.
Then there’s that you text me right away in the same day when I figured we could meet up some time soon, not that very second…Followed by a bunch of messages here telling me you texted me and then just cursing me out?…
You know what, you’re probably a nice, normal dude. Thank you for the compliment(s.) I bet you meant well…But honestly you just came on way too strong, way too fast for me, even just by those few simple actions & words. I’m sorry, I just wound up really turned off by all of this & I was going to give you a chance to cool off and see if you calmed down, but you didn’t. I hope you find what you’re looking for on this site. I do wish you luck and I didn’t mean to offend you if I have.
Obsessive Random Guy: then don’t send over 30 messages to me, give me your number, then simply completely ignore me with no explanation…if you weren’t interested just say it…seriously think about it
good luck bye
Obsessive Random Guy: you’re a sociopath wow… jerking off to your pictures?!?!?..I was reading your profile because I was enjoying it and it is long…..you have some serious issues.
[I didn’t literally think “Omg, he’s jerking off to my pictures!” but it just was just along the lines of finding it creepy he kept going to my profile and then messaging me about my appearance. And seriously, if you need to go back to my page every 10 minutes for two days to read my dating profile, I think you need to work on your literary skills. -And do you see how he says bye and then messages me again!?]
Myself: You sound like you need some more experience in dating, at least when it comes to it through these sites. I messaged you because I had an interest until you freaked me out. It’s been hours since I didn’t reply to you, that’s not completely ignoring someone with no explanation. I have waited a day or more for a reply from some guys, sometimes. From the way you’re overreacting in these messages, I highly doubt we would have been a good match. Nothing I’ve expressed in the above, suggests I have any issues, but rather that you do come off as much clingy than I’m comfortable with. My comment was a combination of you saying how attracted to me you were and the amount of times you were going to my profile. You were/are acting very similar to someone I once met from here who was too clingy, and I’d rather not repeat that. I sincerely do wish you luck on here, although you’ve continued to be rude to me at this time. I’m sorry you were so angered & upset by this.
Obsessive Random Guy: dude it’s a dating site you don’t have to take it so seriously…we had good conversation regardless…I’m sorry you’re so jaded and think every little thing comes off as creepy…I’m not angered at all just surprised at the way you’re reacting to something so ridiculous as me texting you hours later after you gave me your number. You need to really chill out and take a look at the situation as a whole…
and so what I gave you a compliment? Big deal…to me there is nothing wrong with my approach…Plenty of women would appreciate my consideration and giving a shit about their thoughts and feelings.
[Why doesn’t he get that it was the amount of times he texted and messaged me, not that he’d texted me a few hours after we first spoke?]
Myself: Yeah…Right.. *I* shouldn’t take it so seriously…Yes, that is good advice…*I* should “chill out”…Well, glad to hear you’re not angered or upset and that you just always speak this way..apparently. It’s pretty clear, we’re obviously not right for each other. Hope you find someone for you.
[Because he didn’t sound angry at all, right? I asked him to calm down, so he told me to calm down. Obsessively messaging me and stalking my dating profile isn’t exactly just finding “every little thing” creepy. And yeah, if there is nothing wrong with his approach, why is he messaging someone who ignored him the first time?…]

Bad Date Averted.

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More Dating Website Conversation Fails

Well, this is the last of what I could find skimming through the old messages in my dating website inboxes…Besides a few old conversations saved in some word documents, this will probably be the last post of my old conversations. After this I guess it’ll be newly exchanged words, and my opinions and experiences in the world of dating…

Random Guy: hey :)
[5 Minutes Later…]
Random Guy: do you like little boys or something?
[…What?!]

Random Guy: Hi! Where in [CITY CENSORED] do you live?
Myself: A [NEIGHBORHOOD DESCRIPTION CENSORED] area
Random Guy: Ok, I think I know where that is. I’d love to meet and chat.
[In my city there are at least 4 well known neighborhoods fitting my description. 30 minutes later…]
Random Guy: I’m also a bad, non kosher, pork eating Jew.
[An hour later…]
Random Guy: Don’t worry, I’m circumcised
[And this is where I officially stop replying.]

Random Guy: I will keep it short and simple. I read your profile. Pretty Interesting. I think you are creative and attractive. By the way, you look great. I have a question for you??
Myself: Thanks, but I’ve yet to find I have any interest in someone with under a 70 or 80% match rating with me on this site.
[After reading up on this site’s algorithms and skimming through profiles over the last few years, I’ve found that I never have interest in someone with a 20-40% match rating. This person was in that range. It’s designed to work accurately enough. Of course you might like someone with a 72% match over someone with a 95% match in real life –But there’s still a huge difference between someone with a 20% match and an 80% match to you.]
Random Guy: Haha. Don’t trust this site to match you. This is cheap site created by few horny guys. That’s the fact.
Myself: Have you read about the math behind the matching? Have you read the articles they posted about what the % means? And that is not a fact because I actually know two people working for the site and that is false about both of them. I don’t think “Oh this person is such a good match for me because of their %” -I’m not an idiot. However, I have YET to find someone I’m even SLIGHTLY interest in who doesn’t have a % over 70. This is because the way people on the site answer their questions generates that %…Well, I’m not going to go into it too much, you can just read about it as I did if you’re interested.
Random Guy: This is all bull. It’s easy to fool regular people like you. Have smart life in future.
Myself: Yes, I’ve been completely fooled by your poor English I was so attracted to. Good luck finding a fuck buddy on here. Good news for you is that people with a close match % to yours will probably be into you as well. Good luck =)
[The “fuck buddy” part was referring to something from his profile…And the fact that he believed it was just “horny guys” controlling the site.]

Dating Website Conversations That Went Nowhere

I went through some more messages in my dating website inbox. Here are some bad conversations which went nowhere on one site. Most of these are from a year ago or more…

Random Guy: mmmm
Myself: Yeah, you put a lot of thought into that message, I really want to reply.
Random Guy: You totally did reply, though.
: (
Myself: Yes, I replied with sarcasm.

Random Guy: I beleive in santa claus?
Myself: Fake profile as it’s hardly filled out, or attempt at being unique and hoping for a reply…
Random Guy: who has time 4 this
[Obviously not the guy who doesn’t have the time to spell out “for”…]

Random Guy: I’m wondering if you’d like to hang out with me this week.
Myself: I think it’ll take me a while to meet someone in person from here.
Random Guy: “My Turn Off’s: Not being open minded, ” [This is something he copy and pasted from my old profile.]
Myself: I don’t see how the two are related. One is a safety/comfort issue.

Random Guy: hi. you are way out of my league but maybe we can be besties? im great at errands and, um, all of that. wait nevermind how embarassingg. haha sorry! you rule! can i just paypal you for no reason?! eek
[I told him I wasn’t over someone, which was true at the time…It’s nicer than adding the part about how strange the message is.]

And then there was the time I gave a real answer to a guy I wasn’t interested in…

Random Guy: Why is it so hard to meet someone it feels right to be with.
Myself: Everyone is very different in many different ways. It’s rare to find someone who’s weaknesses pair well with your strengths (and vice versa), who has things in common with you enough to generally be on the same page with you in most situations, and who’s faults you can stand because of enough positivity in the rest of their personality traits. People have different priorities in relationships and you have to find someone who is strong enough in the categories most important to you, and what they lack only shows up in areas that don’t matter so much to you.
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Unanswered Dating Website Messages

I’ve been going through the old messages in my inbox and I came across a few I never replied to from a couple of years ago…

Random Guy: peek aboo I see you
[…If that’s not creepy as a first message on an online dating website, I don’t know what is.]

Random Guy: I’m awesome. You’re awesome. Let’s make awesome babies… woah woah hold on young lady. Let’s take it slow and get to know each other first. Me + you + frisbee + banana split, let’s do it
[…What?]

Random Guy: I found your profile interesting. I am not sure why; perhaps because it is well-written, and because you seem to have such a clear idea of who you are and what you want.
I don’t know if you’re still seeing someone, but I am, so I’m not looking for a date. Just a little conversation, and maybe a friend.
Anyway, our tastes do differ on many things, but I got a sense that we share something more essential in common, and might get along. And, of course, conversation is more interesting when you disagree now and then….
I love cats; my girlfriend and I have two, and we talk about them all the time.
[…We have nothing in common and you have a girlfriend, but you’re messaging me when my profile indicates I’m looking for someone to date.]

Random Guy: You are ridiculous.
[…Okay?]

Random Guy: re you having a fun night? I’m pretty new to this have you been on here for long? I definitely noticed a few freaks so I’m going to like this!
Anyway I liked your profile and if you like mine then message me back. If you didn’t like mine let me know what to change so at least I can get it perfect!
[…Because that’s what I want, someone who will design their profile to be what I’d like to hear and nothing like them.]

Random Guy: Hi !
I took the time to read your profile. Nice job…lol..Took me 3 years to read it :P. And I can understand some people may think you are picky or t2 specific but I think you just know what you want and that is rare nowadays.Let’s hang out. I think we could be great friends.We have many things in common.
[NAME CENSORED]
[NAME CENSORED]
[NAME CENSORED]
[10 Minutes Later…]
Random Guy: I can tell you that the type of guy you look for.Is using a website like this :). And I am not talking about my self. Well……Maybe……Only a little bit… JA ! I mean if not, how would you expect to find it here O.o ? just being a bit Philosophical. :P
[NAME CENSORED]
[The next day…]
Random Guy: So you don’t wanna say hi ??
[A week later…]
Random Guy: [MY USERNAME CENSORED] indeed.
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Dating Website Conversation #9

Skimming through old messages I found this conversation from a couple of years ago. I’m really surprised I even responded!…

Random Guy: Okay, so listen, I’ve gotta ask — are you really as ticklish as you look?
Myself: I am not ticklish at all. I was as a kid, but then it went away for some reason.
Random Guy: can’t be. you must still have some spots. fess up
Myself: Nope, none.
Random Guy: you’re too cute to be completely non-ticklish… sorry, i still just don’t buy it. here’s the $64,000 question — does being tickled make you feel submissive?
Myself: It really doesn’t do anything to me.
Sorry, [USERNAME CENSORED] no longer has an account.

Dating Website Conversation #3

Here’s a conversation from a couple of weeks ago…

Random Guy: id own you
Myself: Creepy.
Random Guy: Your creepy? I though you were cute
Myself: Your message is very creepy.