As I wrote “If you’re dating someone wrong for you but the sex is great, stop dating and keep the sex” on my post “Keep It Simple” I thought I’d make a suggested list on keeping a relationship strictly sexual. (Provided someone one day ends up in this position, with this opportunity.) The idea is to make sure neither person winds up attached or feeling as if they’re tied down, so that both can still freely seek and pursue other relationships. I changed this from “Rules” to “Guidelines” because nearly all of these “rules” can be bent or broken (at least once in a while) depending on the specific situation and those involved. Those involved should be able to find a balance between them that works.
-Wear condoms.
(Safety first: Always avoid disease and unwanted pregnancy.)
-Avoid hanging out outside of the bedroom, in the same way you’d hang out with your other friends.
(You probably get along well, but you’re going to feel like you’re dating if there are too many non-sexual meet-ups.)
-Keep it to about once a week, though random late night calls are acceptable -but can be declined.
(If you see each other too often, you risk becoming attached. Too few times and each meeting may feel somewhat awkward.)
-Don’t spend the night.
(Just avoid getting too close and excessively doing anything you’d do in a relationship with another.)
-Get dressed and say goodnight when it’s over.
(If good conversation, cuddling with someone, and kissing goodnight is going to make you fall for them, don’t do it.)
-Limit conversations in-between meeting.
(It’s nice to check-in to be friendly once in a while, but you shouldn’t be talking every day.)
-Get what you want out of it.
(Don’t let the other person be the only one getting something out of the situation.)
-Talk about it and go over the guidelines.
(Make sure you’re both on the same page about the situation and have a mutual agreement. Communication is important for all relationships –even those that are sexual.)
-If you don’t want to be single, continue to search for new potential dates.
(Make sure you stay as active in your search for a relationship as you would outside of seeing this person. Don’t become reliant on your meet-ups.)
-Don’t start a strictly sexual relationship with someone you have romantic feelings for.
(It’s not worth the stress and getting crushed later on. If you start to develop feelings for the person, it’s time to end it.)
-Make the most of it.
(It’s a temporary situation for as long as it lasts, so enjoy it for what it is and don’t let what it isn’t get you down.)
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I just couldn’t do this!!! It would all end in tears!!
Well that’s why one of the guidelines is not to get involved in that type of situation with someone you have/might develop feelings for! =)
It’s really not something I’m promoting for everyone, but rather for those who ever happen to be in a situation where they’re just not right for each other, but have good sex.
Ha ha ha I know :) it would be a disaster if I tried it!!
Then I suggest you don’t and rather stick to what you’re good with =)
This sounds perfect. And I like the rules :)
It’s a great situation if you’re lucky enough to find someone it works with =)
I’ve done this, and I agree with your guidelines. Kind of hard not to become friends with the person in the process, though!
Well you can certainly be friends…Just not the same type of friends as the ones you hang out with for other outside activities =)
Wish I’d seen this before I had a string of uncool hookups, which led to me figuring out my own guidelines! http://www.singleswarehouse.co.uk/2013/06/eight-steps-for-a-successful-one-night-stand/
haha Interesting! We should be putting together a how-to book on every situation you might come across like this =)
I’ve tried this a few times and eventually at least one person breaks a rule(s) :/
Well, most of these “rules” can be broken in moderation and the situation still works. I called them guidelines because it really depends on the couple. I definitely know one couple following their version of these “rules” who’s had success. -But again, It’s definitely not for everyone in every situation.
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