Dating Website Conversation #8

I’ve got another great example of why I’m tired of dating…The intellectual-conversation-guy hasn’t replied in days and if that wasn’t disappointing enough, my inbox’s recent messages have been replaced with the following conversation from someone else…

Random Guy: hello how are you beautiful
Myself: I’m alright, thanks.
I don’t think we would be a good match, though.
Good luck on your search here.
Random Guy: Oh thank u don’t break my heart now lol
Random Guy: You look amazing Poole are exiting when they saw you …with that elegant body well we can be friends if you Like it
Myself: No, thank you.
The way you write is really unattractive.
Random Guy: Ok I’m sorry I have to be ones with you I have some family problems and was on bad mood that’s why I talk with you unattractive
Random Guy: :(
Myself: It’s the grammar that bothers me.
Random Guy: I’m sorry but do not have a lot of years here
Random Guy: Well you probably born here but I came here lol
Myself: That’s understandable, but being on a dating site (which requires you to write messages) might not be the best place for you to meet people then.
Random Guy: Ok can just call me if you can or text my Internet it is very slow [PHONE NUMBER CENSORED]
Myself: um, no thank you. I’m not interested. Like I already mentioned, I don’t think we’re a good match. I just think it’s rude to ignore people, even on here, so I was just letting you know. You’re not the type of guy I want to date.
Good luck, though.
Random Guy: Ok lol bey
Random Guy: Ok thank you

Oh man, I should call him, record it, and take these posts to a whole new level! (Not quite there, yet…)
And seriously, who’s on 56k in this day and age anyway that they can’t even click “Send” on  online dating site message?
I wonder if some girls are as persistent when turned down as some of these guys are…
—Great news mid-posting (bad news for substance in my posts here)— Intellectual-conversation-guy has just replied after a long awaited 4 days!

(Or let's just NOT meet is more of what I was thinking...)

(Or let’s just NOT meet is more of what I was thinking…)

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Dating Website Conversation #7

My dating website profile specifies that I am looking for guys in my age range (20’s), without children. Of course everyone else on the website is taking it as seriously as I am. Here is today’s winner, a recent message I haven’t replied to…

Random Guy: hi [MY USERNAME CENSORED] :)
I’ve been on here for less than two weeks and I think I’ve signed in twice! But your profile just came up as I was venturing into my first search and I enjoyed reading your witty responses and also thought that your photos were fabulous! So…..it would be great to chat sometime of you are interested….my profile is deliberately sparse so I’m [NAME NOT MATCHING NAME IN USERNAME CENSORED], 41 years old, 5 10, originally from England, came to [CITY CENSORED] in 2010 via Canada. I’m 100% honest and upfront and that means declarations now! Lol never married, 12 year old daughter in Canada who I visit twice a month, I’m employed, never done drugs, never cheat and am sane, positive and easy going :)
I’d love to hear from you soon :)
[NAME NOT MATCHING NAME IN USERNAME CENSORED]

Sometimes I’m not incredibly shocked, disgusted, annoyed, or amused by the messages I get, they just make me sigh…

Slow Motion

Recently, I noticed this floating around the internet, “When in panic mode, your eyes take in visual info at a higher rate, which is why everything seems to be moving in slow motion.” This may or may not be an entirely scientific fact, and you’re welcome to Google your own explanations, but regardless most should be able to relate to the feeling of life in slow motion. I can think of a few moments in my life where my surroundings felt as if I could see every detail of what was immediately in front of me yet it took forever to experience -such as sitting on the back of a bucking horse for the first time, a trash can being knocked over, down a believed-to-be abandoned street, and being chased by a sketchy stranger. I’ve learned it can also be felt upon receiving unexpected and unsettling news just the same, and have experienced it throughout every break up in which I wasn’t the one doing the dumping. To continue with the theme of my blog and tagline, above: “The reasons I’m tired of dating…” I thought I’d share a piece of something I’d once written after someone had broken up with me. I’m mostly sharing this, in hopes that another person getting into a relationship understands the possibility of their impact on the other…

“-But the feeling where everything around you disappears for a moment and you’re so focused on the person in front of you and the words being said, your mind completely forgets where you are and every other thought that had been in your mind, in that moment. It’s kind of like when something scares you and for half a second you have a moment of complete fear that something is about to end your life, and time moves at a completely different pace than it was before. It’s a feeling I will always be able to pin point. I know it so well. Everything just freezes for a moment and you just want it to stop but you’re completely powerless. And you’re faced with your biggest insecurities, fears, self doubt, and weaknesses. -And how can you even protest all the ones that you know are true but never wanted to admit to another?”
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Crab Guy

I’m sorry I took a few days off from making posts here. I was busy meeting new people in real life and also having an actual intellectual conversation with someone on a dating site for a change. I’ve been pretty distracted. Hopefully this recent dating site dude will provide quite a story if we meet or I’m going to be out of material on here for a while!

I should clarify that this other guy I’m about to quote is actually pretty cool. I met him a couple of days ago in a completely random situation and if his friends ever decide to utilize my contact information I’ll be in touch with them again…

Random Guy: *holds out plastic crab figurine* “Do you want my crab?”
Myself: “I’m not sure the best pick up line you should be using on girls is asking if they want your crabs.”
Random Guy: “I know, I’m really not very good with lines. That sounded pretty bad. This one time a girl on [DATING WEBSITE CENSORED] said she needed a place to stay while her apartment was being fumigated and I said that she could stay at my place even though we hadn’t met before.”
Myself: “That’s not a line…”
Random Guy: “I know, that’s what I mean. I’m really bad with lines.”

Dating Website Conversation #6

Well, it was getting late tonight and I was starting to think I wouldn’t have anything at all for this today. I reactivated one of my old dating site profiles a little earlier, because you know, you never know. Though, I definitely feel like this one is one of the crummier sites. We’ll see! Anyway, it’s not much but at least I got something. It’s mostly just me being silly again towards yet another guy I have no interest in, though. Sometimes I think it comes off as a little more mean than completely honest…

Random Guy: Hi beautiful forever are u doing i see u online can we chat if u don’t mind
Myself: Nah, it’s possible you find me attractive at this moment, but it’s pretty unlikely I would be beautiful forever. Most likely as I age, as all humans do, I will become more and more unattractive. I will gain wrinkles, lose hair, get all saggy and whatever. Of course, one can remain beautiful on the inside -though it seemed like you were making the comment directed at physical attractiveness as you attached some pictures of yourself to this message. Thank you for your compliment, however I’m going to decline the invite to chat with you. I do mind because I’m not interested and I don’t want to. Have a great night and good luck on this site!

Dating Website Questions #2

I skimmed through some old messages to find those I’d politely declined conversing with. I found the guy who had me so disgusted with men/humanity I actually took a shower because I felt so awful being reminded that there are people like him in the world. His profile angered me and there wasn’t a single answer he gave to one question which I would’ve preferred hearing. From insignificant to important topics, I disagreed with or was upset by each of his answers. He actually chose answers to every question I ever thought “who would even ever choose that answer?!” about. Here are a few of the random questions and his answers…

Dating Website Question: Gay marriage –should it be legal?
Random Guy’s Answer: No
Dating Website Question: Assume you have a homosexual friend who is the same gender as you. Would it bother you if they hugged you?
Random Guy’s Answer: Only if I thought the hug was more than friendly.
Dating Website Question: Do you feel there are any circumstances in which a person is obligated to have sex with you?
Random Guy’s Answer: Yes
Dating Website Question: Is anything in life more important than your own self-interest?
Random Guy’s Answer:
No
Dating Website Question: Which describes you better, cool-headed or warm-hearted?
Random Guy’s Answer:
Cool-headed
Dating Website Question: Have you been faithful in all of your past relationships?
Random Guy’s Answer: No
Dating Website Question: Have you ever lead someone on romantically just for fun?
Random Guy’s Answer: Yes
Dating Website Question: Have you ever told someone that you loved them when you didn’t?
Random Guy’s Answer:
Yes
Dating Website Question: Are sex and intimacy the same thing?
Random Guy’s Answer: Yes
Dating Website Question: Would you honestly answer any question concerning your sexual history that a partner might ask?
Random Guy’s Answer: No
Dating Website Question: Have you ever lied to a partner about your sexual history?
Random Guy’s Answer:
Yes
Dating Website Question: Is there such a thing as having had too many sex partners?
Random Guy’s Answer:
No
Dating Website Question: Have you ever had sex with a person within the first hour of meeting them?
Random Guy’s Answer: Yes
Dating Website Question: Do you believe that men should be the heads of their households?
Random Guy’s Answer:
Yes
Dating Website Question: Some religions are more correct than others.
Random Guy’s Answer: True
Dating Website Question: Do you leave the lights on after leaving a room when they are no longer necessary?
Random Guy’s Answer: Usually –This isn’t very important.
Dating Website Question: Do you attempt to conserve water, energy or other resources during your everyday life?
Random Guy’s Answer: No, I don’t care
Dating Website Question: On average which best describes how often you get wicked drunk?
Random Guy’s Answer: Twice a week or more
Dating Website Question: Could you live the rest of your life without drinking alcohol
Random Guy’s Answer: No
Dating Website Question: Are you a genius?
Random Guy’s Answer: Yes
Dating Website Question: Are you a good liar?
Random Guy’s Answer: Yes

…At least this extremely dishonest sounding person was honest in his dating profile answers?

(Though, I think the same thing could be said about a lot of girls.)

(Though, I think the same thing could be said about a lot of girls.)

Dating Website Conversation #5

Here’s a very short correspondence I had with someone on a dating website nearly one year ago that I was never sure about how to react to…

Random Guy: Well hello… this may sound a bit silly but I love your nose :)
Myself: That’s a pretty odd line.
Random Guy: It’s true however :)
Sorry, [USERNAME CENSORED] no longer has an account.