Dumped Before The 1st Date?

Well, that was a first. Yesterday I got a message from a guy on one of the dating sites. I could tell he wasn’t really my type, but he was cute, intelligent, and interesting enough. We exchanged about four messages describing our jobs, what we do in our free time, etc. Then suddenly he messaged me saying that he’d thought it over and realized we should probably try to meet different people on there. Is it really possible to break up with someone you’ve only spent a total of maybe 20 minutes speaking to and never met? I replied to the last few things he mentioned to round off the conversation, agreed that we probably weren’t the best match and wished him luck. But it was just strange because I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I’ve somehow been dumped. I didn’t say anything so out there, ignorant, or cruel. I’m really just sort of confused as this has never happened before. I spend so much time shaking off those I’m not interested in, I guess I never really thought about someone doing it to me, so early into a conversation that was going well. I guess most of them usually just stop replying out of the blue when they decide they’re not interested, but to get a message that says “Maybe we just need to both keep looking” -I suddenly feel just about as bad as you can feel getting dumped by someone you didn’t know for more than a day and hadn’t developed any feelings for. I guess that isn’t so bad, but at the same time it doesn’t feel great when you’ve already been somewhat lonely and down. Maybe it was just the way he phrased it that made it all too familiar, and stirred up feelings of being dumped in the past. Sometimes it’s like I’m reliving certain moments, though the present situation may have little to do with my past.

Slow Motion

Recently, I noticed this floating around the internet, “When in panic mode, your eyes take in visual info at a higher rate, which is why everything seems to be moving in slow motion.” This may or may not be an entirely scientific fact, and you’re welcome to Google your own explanations, but regardless most should be able to relate to the feeling of life in slow motion. I can think of a few moments in my life where my surroundings felt as if I could see every detail of what was immediately in front of me yet it took forever to experience -such as sitting on the back of a bucking horse for the first time, a trash can being knocked over, down a believed-to-be abandoned street, and being chased by a sketchy stranger. I’ve learned it can also be felt upon receiving unexpected and unsettling news just the same, and have experienced it throughout every break up in which I wasn’t the one doing the dumping. To continue with the theme of my blog and tagline, above: “The reasons I’m tired of dating…” I thought I’d share a piece of something I’d once written after someone had broken up with me. I’m mostly sharing this, in hopes that another person getting into a relationship understands the possibility of their impact on the other…

“-But the feeling where everything around you disappears for a moment and you’re so focused on the person in front of you and the words being said, your mind completely forgets where you are and every other thought that had been in your mind, in that moment. It’s kind of like when something scares you and for half a second you have a moment of complete fear that something is about to end your life, and time moves at a completely different pace than it was before. It’s a feeling I will always be able to pin point. I know it so well. Everything just freezes for a moment and you just want it to stop but you’re completely powerless. And you’re faced with your biggest insecurities, fears, self doubt, and weaknesses. -And how can you even protest all the ones that you know are true but never wanted to admit to another?”
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