The Dating Website Profile That Started This Blog

Honestly, what really sparked the idea for this blog was someone’s dating website profile I came across a couple of days ago. I received the message, “hey what’s up” from a random guy and I replied after I proceeded to read his profile. The page contained a long winded paragraph beginning with “I’m divorced. (Well, technically still married, but I haven’t spoken to her in over a year so it shouldn’t bother you.)” –And continuing with a detailed record of when and how they were married and that it was only because he found it to be beneficial on paper. He stated the marriage was purely for her to gain citizenship. He goes on to say that he doesn’t have any children and his wife is living in another country so none of his marriage should be a problem to anyone. The paragraph ends with “I probably won’t get divorced until I meet someone new.” The next section of his profile mentions that he used to sell pot, followed by a section in which he claims he has unpaid parking tickets. It sounded more like some sort bait for the government to find than anything else. Confused as to why someone would have this on their dating profile, I replied expressing my amusement. This continued for quite a few messages. I will only post a few excerpts from it as it’s incredibly long. I’d love to quote his exact profile, but he deleted all I’d mentioned during our conversation. Apparently he agreed with my opinion, but not enough to admit it. His profile really spoke for itself and I wish I’d have saved a copy for this!

Also, note that I didn’t call him any names or insult him as a person. I apologized for hurting his feelings multiple times, and ignored the names he called me –and he called me quite a few. I even ignored when he insulted my appearance by saying he should have checked my profile picture before messaging me (though, it’s impossible to send someone a message without first viewing their profile picture…) -Yet he still concluded that I had been a negative force. He even said that his marriage wasn’t any of my business, though he’d publicly written all about it on his page and messaged me. I think this was the profile in which I felt, “Now I’ve heard it all” about. It contained nearly every “no-no” in the book for your dating website profile and I just thought “And these are the types of people I have to weed through on here. I bet a lot of people would share my opinion on this…”

Random Guy: the way you sound-bited my marriage history really makes it sound bad.
Myself: I copy and pasted what you wrote on your page.
Random Guy: being an ex-weed dealer isn’t illegal nor is being married on paper
i feel stupid having to explain this, but you were pretty off.
Random Guy: I married my girlfriens so she could come to the US. There are legal proceedings for that. Plus its none of your biz. I can’t get arrested for selling pot 10 years ago. Congrats on being a negative force in the universe today. You’ve done well.
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Dating Website Conversation #2

This conversation ended a lot faster than that other one. What a relief! This is how this type of message should always be treated. Short, to the point, polite. When weeding through people on a dating site, one shouldn’t spend too much time on those they’re not interested in. But, you know in-between my better things I can be doing this is how I amuse myself.

Random Guy: ho princess how are you doing?it’s a beautiful day!!!
Myself: I’m sorry, you have been mistaken. I do not come from any royalty, nor do I prostitute myself. I’m alright. Enjoy your beautiful day. I’m not interested in dating you, but thank you for expressing interest in some sort of way.
Random Guy: :))))

Dating Website Conversation #1

Today I made note of how rude it feels when someone ignores your message on a dating website, so I’ve decided that I will do my best to respond to every message I receive, even when I am not interested. Please note that in this conversation I only started to sound condescending/pretentious when I was frustrated they continued to speak in such an ignorant way after I’d politely expressed my disinterest. I really don’t normally sound so annoying. Expect a bunch of posts to be like the following conversation I just had:

Random Guy: hi baby
Myself: Sorry, you have been mistaken –I’m actually a fully grown adult. Good luck in your search for someone on here. I’m not interested. Have a good day!
Random Guy: Pretty interesting message , I like the way talk .
How about we go to a interesting Restruant in [LOCATION CENSORED] , I guess u will like it .
Myself: I’m not a fan of your grammar, no thank you.
Random Guy: Maybe u will be one day , u never know..
Okay how about max brenner
U don’t have to thank me , just say yes
Myself: This conversation is an extreme turn off.
Random Guy: But I am enjoying it
Random Guy: Don’t be too picky honey , u still have chance to meet me
Myself: I assume you’re enjoying it because other people often ignore your messages. I think it’s rude to ignore someone even on here, and am trying this experiment where I actually politely turn down those I don’t have a spec of interest in, rather than completely ignoring them.
No, thank you. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Random Guy: Hahaha quick question r u bisexual.
Random Guy: I think u only like girl ,
Myself: Bisexuals like both men and women. If I was only interested in women, I would be a lesbian and it would be indicated above, rather than listing me as “straight.” Unfortunately, I’m only interested in well educated men -Though this still qualifies me as being straight.
Random Guy: I just took a nap , I am going out for a caffe , I think u should join and trust me I can get any girl I want I have every thing a girl need
Myself: It’s good you have acquired such a large amount of self confidence. Hopefully you will find someone unlike me who is attracted to that sort of cockiness. Good luck.
Random Guy: Ur very judge mantel
Myself: I believe you were going for “judgmental” and one example of the term is someone who assumes another’s sexual orientation based on their disinterest of one’s own grammar and level of confidence.
Random Guy: U judge people without even knowing them , trust me it will not take u any where
Myself: I don’t judge people without knowing them. I judge who I’d like to meet in person from a dating site based on what they choose to write about themselves on their profile and in their messages. I don’t belittle you as a person. I acknowledge that you have expressed you lack multiple qualities that are important to me personally, in a relationship.
Random Guy: Yes you are right miss [USERNAME CENSORED] , I were going to say judgmental*
Do u think when America people speak they follow grammar ,
Can u please leave this stupid grammar thing
Random Guy: Ur last message make seance to me but I am totally different in person .
I am not in to All this online dating site but I thought it will help me make some new friend but u not helping it
Random Guy: I am very busy with my business , I am just looking for someone with who I can spend some good time , go for caffe , movie , shaping , food , drinks , I think I need a good friend who I can shear my everything
Myself: Yes, when most people would like others to acknowledge their intelligence, they speak and write properly. It’s generally a good indication of their education, though there is definitely room for exceptions. This, however is unrelated to someone being an American. I’m sorry, but it’s my personal preference that I’m uninterested in dating someone with such poor grammar and I’m entitled to that. I wish you luck in finding someone who doesn’t mind the way you write/speak.
Random Guy: Write and speak hum
I guess I know how to cray a conversations
Myself: No, I am not helping you make friends on this site because I am not right for you and I urge you to find someone more compatible. I’m only replying because I don’t think it’s right to ignore someone. I personally find it irritating when someone corrects my spelling in casual conversation, however you may really want to be careful with yours. I really don’t think you’d like someone to shear your everything.
Random Guy: Okay fine if u don’t want to then don’t replay me , I am not a 2 years old boy who will cry on the corner when he can’t get something he want. I am honest guy with good heart .
I am not desperate to find someone here , I don’t play no stupid game to get girls. I am a open book.
I respect u that u were being very nice to me .
Random Guy: And yes I will shear my everything with that person who I can trust .
Random Guy: Oh one more thing
Ur a wonderful person

…I’ll let him have the last word. -But I really don’t think he’ll continue to trust the person who shears his everything! –Er…And if English was just his second language he should’ve made that clear, though I still hold the right to personally not find it attractive when it comes to dating.
…Man, I need to get a life!
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