Friendship | Tired Of Dating

I know I haven’t posted an entry in 7 years, but I need somewhere anonymous to vent. (I met someone through a dating app I continued seeing, though I’d also already abandoned this page by then.)

Dear Ugly Troll Man,

My boyfriend of over four years and I have been in a very happy and healthy relationship. We do things our way and it works for us regardless of your opinion on it. He invited me to a destination wedding for his best friend which I was excited about attending. He paid for my non refundable flights and resort stay with extended nights for us to enjoy the trip on our own as well. You have never exchanged more than a couple of a minutes worth of words with me accumulatively in the four years I’ve been in my relationship. That was your choice. I was always kind to you and offered you sweets to share I’d brought my boyfriend as I understand you share a living space. I stayed out of your way, quiet, and never left my boyfriend’s bedroom when I spent the night once or twice a month all these years. I know you’re the best man at this wedding, but that doesn’t give you the right to decide the guest list when the bride and groom were happy to have me attend as my boyfriend’s plus one. Your forbidding me from going and threatening to kick my boyfriend out of his home has caused him to question giving up our entire relationship because he wants to be a loyal friend to you. You forced him to move in with you because you couldn’t afford this place on your own and now that you can and he can’t and you have no reason left to use him, you want to toss him aside. Your narcissistic and psychopathic need to control is ruining our lives and I don’t understand why you choose to be so cruel. How dare you try to convince him I’m the one controlling him and making him miserable. You don’t even let him talk to you about me or feel grateful for anything he does for you. You don’t deserve an inch of the success and fame you just stepped into, but I’m convinced it only happened so when karma catches up to you she can tear you down that much further. You’re the most disgustingly toxic person I’ve ever known; And believe me I’ve known some real pieces of sh*t, but I still want to respect my boyfriend’s bizarre attachment to friendship loyalty despite how horrible they may be and have remained willing to *befriend* you to make him happy. It’s you who doesn’t give a crap about him, who refuses to even get to know me. It’s you who insists on believing these stories about me you made up in your head that you base your opinion of me on. My boyfriend and all your other mutual friends know none of it is true, but believing it gives you an excuse to not acknowledge how truly despicable of a person you are. You have caused so much damage to my boyfriend and myself emotionally, mentally, and financially, and if you really do cost me this entire relationship I will no longer owe you any courtesy I currently give you for my boyfriend’s sake.

-The person who will take you down one day, one way or another

I don’t have any new dating website messages to share with you, so I’ll tell you a couple of true short stories…

When I was a teenager MySpace was popular. I only used it to speak to people I already knew, but one day I got a message from a random guy. We had a friend or two in common, so I decided to reply. I was on a break with my then boyfriend and so we chatted every night for a few weeks. A lot of the time we’d talk about his ex. He didn’t seem to be over her. Then one day I got another message from another random guy. I was hesitant to reply, but seeing that I was already speaking to someone I didn’t really know, it couldn’t hurt to start chatting with one more. We would also chat pretty often over the next few weeks. He had an ex he wasn’t quite over as well. I’d share stories about the guy I had been with up until our break and they’d tell me about their ex. It went on for a while until one day one of the guys decided to share their ex’s MySpace page with me. I noticed her a few things on her page. It was the girl the first guy had been describing to me. Turns out they had the same ex they weren’t over, each dated her for a couple of years (not at the same time), and each had stumbled across my page, liked my picture and decided to message me out of the blue. Neither had met the other before. I couldn’t believe the coincidence and when I shared the news with them they were pretty surprised as well. A few days later we decided to hang out as a group and you know the two guys seemed to bond over sharing the ex and actually became friends. Now wasn’t that a cute little story?

Here’s another one…When I joined my first dating site in the summer of 2009, I got a message from a guy about a week later who I wasn’t particularly attracted to, but seemed pretty interesting. We started chatting and before I knew it we became internet friends. He lived a couple of hours away, so we never got around to meeting…for four years. We continued to text and call each other, and remained in touch. There were periods of time we wouldn’t speak for a couple of months and then every once in a while we’d catch each other up on everything. Earlier this year I went on a couple of dates with a guy I’d met at a party. It didn’t really work out, but we were trying to keep up a friendship, so we decided to meet for dinner one night. My schedule had been all over the place that day. I don’t usually plan so much at once, but I was set on not cancelling on anyone and meeting him. So, we met in an area I hadn’t frequented and he took me to a restaurant I’d never heard of. We were waiting to be seated when out of nowhere a guy comes up and shakes my hand. He said it was nice to meet me. I nodded and smiled, but if that wasn’t confusing enough, the next thing he said was my name. It was the guy I’d been speaking to for four years who didn’t live anywhere near there. He recognized me from my pictures and I didn’t recognize him at all –He was in fact a lot more attractive than I’d believed him to be. He so nonchalantly said hello and went back over to have dinner with his sister. I stood there for a good 10 minutes shocked and confused. From miles away, to a city he didn’t visit more than a couple of times a year, he was at a restaurant neither of us had been to before, at the same time I was there, and recognized me. If that wasn’t enough the waitress seated us at a table right next to him and his sister. Also, I hadn’t spoken to him in a couple of months at this time and was actually about to text him the night before to catch up, but got tied up with something. I’d love to tell you about the romance that later ensued –but it never happened. Completely friend-zoned at this point in time, I now just have another friend -who’s no longer just some guy I talk to on the phone…But aren’t coincidences awesome?