Opinions Of Friends

This blog is anonymous, though a few of my friends know about it. I’ve felt comfortable and free to speak my mind for the most part here, though it’s odd I haven’t felt the same opportunities to be as open with my friends. The reaction from of my male friends to my interest in dating women has been positive for the most part. I think it’s just the popular appeal to many straight men of two women together that leaves them so accepting. My female friends haven’t had the same reaction. I get a lot of “Oh.”, “Alright then…”, or “Interesting” from them. I know that these words translate to something else and they reek of discomfort and uncertainty. I can tell my best friend wants to be happy for me with whoever I meet. I know she wants to be nice and listen to my stories. I know her word selection is her trying to the best of her ability, but it’s been extremely disappointing because I can’t help but see through it. Why does it make them feel so uncomfortable? Do they think I will suddenly be attracted to them? Do they really think that after all the years of me not feeling anything romantic towards them that will suddenly change because I realize I’m able to feel that way towards other women? Do they really think that they can’t relate to me anymore, after years of spending time together and sharing stories? Are they jealous in some twisted way? Do they see someone female as a threat to our friendship? Do they feel like they suddenly don’t know me as well as they thought they did and are questioning more about me as a person? Do they think it’s a joke and aren’t taking me seriously for it? Are they trying not to feed into it because I’ve already expressed that even I, myself, think it’s just a phase? I’ve always been pretty sure that none of my friends were homophobic, but they’re seriously causing me to question their opinions on this. I hadn’t seen it as a big deal because I’m still interested in men as well. Why does it seem to be such huge news to them? Perhaps it’s just sort of come as a surprise, so they haven’t had time to make up their opinion about it. Though, why should they have to think about it so much? I feel like I’m being treated as if I’m some sort of novelty when they share my story with friends who aren’t as close to us. I don’t mind so much if others know this about me, but if it’s being talked about just because it’s “weird” or “funny” –I’d really rather not just be the center of some gossip. I’m disappointed in my friends because I feel like if I end up in something serious with someone female, all of my friends will end up pretty distant from me.

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