Dating Website Conversation #13

Posted on August 27, 2013 by TiredOfDating

So the silly messages I reply to on the dating websites when I’m not interested continue to form silly conversations…

Random Guy: I just stared at your profile for 30 minutes trying to think of what to say to get you to say “take me now, daddy” and this is the most I’ve had to work for a girl.
Myself: Girls really reply positively towards messages you send like this?
Random Guy: yes.
i’m [NAME CENSORED], and this is my cat
[LINK TO CAT PICTURE CENSORED]
what’s your name?
Myself: That’s surprising.
Guess I’m not one of those girls.
Not really interested in sharing my name either, I don’t think we’re a good match.
Random Guy: they know it’s a joke. i don’t think i’m old enough to pull off being called daddy.
i actually didn’t think we were a good match either. but i made this profile when i was looking for something else. now when i see your profile, i don’t know, things just seem to make more sense.
Myself: Well, I have a better sense of humor & I’m not interested.
Also, since you were paying such close attention to my profile, I suppose you just decided to ignore the part about how I’m interested in dating a girl at this time?
Random Guy: it’s condescending to say you have a better sense of humor. and your profile says looking for guys and girls who like bi guys.
[He probably meant to type “girls” instead of “guys” at the end.]
Myself: I said I had a better sense of humor as a way of saying I didn’t find your joke funny. My profile says “At the moment, I’m interested in dating girls, not guys.” (which is an exact copy and paste.)
Random Guy: Different =/= better
Myself: Right, but I phrased it that way to express that I wasn’t a fan of the joke…
[But seriously anyone who thinks that line from a stranger is funny and feels intrigued to hear more can’t possibly have a good sense of humor.]

First First-Date With A Girl

Posted on August 25, 2013 by TiredOfDating

So, I’ve come a long way since my post “Tired Of Men, Time To Try Women?” and changing my dating website profile from “Straight” to “Bisexual.” After 25 unanswered messages to women, I finally got a reply and wound up asking if she was free this weekend. I was excited and nervous because it was my first time going out with a girl. We actually walked along the beach, getting to know each other and I thought “Did we really just have the ultimate cliché date with a long walk on the beach?” We got some drinks, some food, played a little skeeball (she’d never played it before), and some other silly arcade-type game. We turned in the tickets we’d won for a temporary tattoo and plastic lizard. We rode my favorite two rides at the park and then grabbed dinner in another neighborhood. We headed home after 7 hours together, so I have to say –it went pretty well. She was cute, nice, interesting, fun…She even reminded me a little of the girl I originally developed a crush on, which started this whole idea…We agreed it was awkward for a first meeting to be a date, so I’m not sure if it’ll end up as just a friends thing, but I’d like to see her again. I did learn something important from the experience even if I don’t: I can definitely see myself dating a girl, in the same way I’d date a guy and feel pretty comfortable with it. It’s opened up a world of options and although I’ll probably run into the same frustrations that I have dating men, it’s nice to have a little more selection of potential dates. The variety does add some interesting change to the whole dating game anyway.

I realized how many times I’d fallen victim to typical stereotyped gender roles that no longer existed when dating a girl. I’d generally waited for a guy to ask me out, rather than suggesting it to him. I’d see if the guy was going to pay for my meal/drinks rather than offering to chip in right away. I’d wonder if the guy was going to try to kiss me goodnight, rather than it being something I’d initiate or not. I’d see if the guy put his arm around me, reached for my hand, or put his hand on my leg. With men taken out of the equation, everything feels a lot more equal and also with some added pressure on myself when it comes to decision making. Yesterday’s date was a good experience if nothing else. I caught myself thinking, “Should have held the door for her that time”, “I should have paid for her lunch, I asked her out”, “I’m going to pay for her drink this time”, and all of the other little things I used to use as indicators with men of being on a date or not that would pass through my mind. But once I realized how unimportant all of those things had been all along, I could let go of some of the stress that I’d held wondering which one of us was supposed to jump in and take action. I was finally getting a little further away from the dating games I’d always despised. I felt like the focus wasn’t about who did what and just ended up being more about caring for the other person and looking out for them over yourself, which really should always be the case in any relationship. It didn’t matter what gender we were, we were just people. I felt free from the stereotypes of what men want and like, and it was just about what either of us wanted or not at that time. As someone who enjoys trying new things, yesterday was certainly an enjoyable experience.

Dating Website Conversation #12

Posted on August 23, 2013 by TiredOfDating

I don’t think these kind of dating website conversations will ever get old…

Random Guy: hi
Myself: Hi…As I mentioned on my profile, I’m interested in dating girls right now.
Random Guy: Ok but do 3some ;-)
Myself: Not something I’m interested in, no.
Random Guy: 4some
Myself: I’m taking a break from guys and shifting my attention to one woman at a time.
Random Guy: U should try me
Random Guy: Whenever u want we can be sex partner
Myself: You’re male, you sent me an uninteresting message without reading my profile, we have a low match rating, and if I want sex I already know someone who can help me out with that. I’m not interested.
Random Guy: U don’t know me
Random Guy: And u do t know what u want
Random Guy: U should give me a chance
Myself: I don’t know you, but I can tell enough about you from your messages and profile to know there isn’t more about you I’m interested in knowing.
I do know what I want and you aren’t a part of any of it.
No thank you, I have no reason to give you a chance, except possibly pity…But I believe that you could improve yourself enough to find someone who would be suitable for you, and therefore there’s no need to pity you either.
Random Guy: Yea but I want u
Myself: This doesn’t really concern me because you don’t know me well and if you did, you would see that we were not a good match.
You just want to be with someone -not specifically me-
If you better yourself as a person a bit, fix up your profile, change the way you speak, you just might have some luck at finding someone, too.
Random Guy: Yes but it’s to boring
Random Guy: Can u help me find a gf
Myself: No, I’m trying to find one for myself and don’t really have the extra time.
Hit a bar in the meantime.
Random Guy: Haha ok Than I’m gona find for U because U r nice ı like u
Myself: Not even sure what that sentence was supposed to be, but alright. Good luck on your search.
Random Guy: I mean I’m going to find a gf for u
Myself: Okay, thanks.

So, you think he’ll end up finding me a decent girlfriend? Hilarious.

Still Waiting

Posted on August 17, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Well, 25 messages to girls later and only one replied –to tell me she wasn’t interested. Though, at least her message was pretty genuine and friendly. The girl who sent me a message never replied again either. I guess my next attempt will be at a bar. And my inbox continues to fill with messages from guys I’m not interested in as usual…

Random Guy: hey how are you
Myself: I’m alright, but that doesn’t matter, you weren’t actually asking. -You asked that with the same tone that every cashier ever asked you with. You know, where they don’t actually care about your answer and you give them the fake “Good.” Your message could’ve been “f98rjefe” it was just to see if you’d get a reply and not anything you really put any effort into or thought about.
Anyway, you’re just another one of those people who went to my profile, looked at my pictures, read half of one sentence from my profile, and completely missed the part that said I’m interested in dating girls at the moment, not guys.
Random Guy: Ok have fun

Random Guy: Hi,
My name is [NAME CENSORED].
I am looking for a good relationship with a nice girl.
I am shy, funny and loyal.
Please text me a message to know each other.
Have a lovely day
[PHONE NUMBER CENSORED]
Myself: Sorry, as I mentioned on my profile. I am interested in dating a girl at this time.
Random Guy: Thank you for your message
[So, do you think he sent this message to every profile he came across? Maybe he thought he’d get a random text in front of his friends and he’d say, “Its from this girl I’ve been talking to.”]

First Female Message

Posted on August 15, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Last night I got my first message from a girl on a dating website and I must say I was overly excited. (I mean my first “official” message, not counting couples/etc.) The message was extremely uninteresting and I’d have probably ignored it or given a silly reply if it came from anyone else…But after weeks of an inbox full of just men, there was no way I wasn’t going to give a friendly answer. I mean, it could’ve been worse –she said “Hi, how are you? How is your week going?” Okay, this kind of killed every creative word that may have been in me, I gave a boring answer, and await the non-stimulating conversation that will occur…But I suppose I’d still meet her if it came up. I guess I haven’t become too picky yet when it comes to girls because those interested in me seem so hard to find. She’s actually one of the original three girls I bookmarked way before I even considered changing my profile from “straight” to “bisexual.” I actually never messaged her because I wasn’t really thrilled with the way she answered some questions about honesty and some of her interests, but I figure someone might be different in person. I think she might have messaged me only because I accidentally clicked on her profile a bunch of times. She hasn’t replied since last night, so I sent messages to 22 new girls. I mean, at least one of them has to reply, right? So, I’m officially on a break from guys. The interest has been temporarily disabled and I’ve moved my focus to women for the time being. Well, except for this one guy who comes by sometimes while I’m single –But that story’s for an entirely different post ;-)

Even More Dating Website Conversation Fails

Posted on August 14, 2013 by TiredOfDating

I still have yet to receive any initial messages or replies to messages from any girls on dating websites, but I continue to receive a lot of messages from guys. Here is what I found in my inbox today…

Random Guy: every see that girl on the street that catches your eye and you need to get to know her… can it happen on the internet? i think it just did :)
Myself: eh…Sorry, I’m not into those corny kind of lines.

Random Guy: hey sexy lady how you doing tonight ? Up for a drink or smoke
Myself: Sorry, as I mentioned on my profile, I’m currently interested in dating someone female
Random Guy: Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t read that lol. Good luck
Myself: Yeah, you should read profiles before messaging people…You’ll find a better match. I actually wrote it three times. Thanks, good luck to you too
[I mean I know “guys only look at the pictures” and I don’t expect anyone to read every word, but come on, you have to at least skim the profile if you’re going to message someone!]

Random Guy: first let me start of by saying how incredible u look beautiful , i mean gorgeous! now this is not be the best opening liner, but i wanted to know if the idea of pursuing an interracial interaction something u would be interested in? specifically with a [RACE CENSORED] man?!
I may not be the best looking guy in the world, but if theres one thing i know how to do is have a good time! Ull feel really good after a night out with with me, promise ;)
Myself: Sorry, as I mentioned on my profile, I’m currently interested in dating someone female.
Random Guy: dont u want a guy on the side until u find what ur looking for! soldier have a reputation of getting the job done?!
Myself: I’ve spent [MY EXACT AGE CENSORED] years dating guys, I’m taking a break.
Random Guy: i wasnt talking about dating, lol! but okay, good luck to u!
[We exchange a few messages where I explain why I’m not interested in starting a sexual relationship with him and he continues to question me about if I’ve been with different races, or with someone who’s a “girl or female” –Because you know, they’re pretty different.]
Random Guy: u would actually be the first girl i have been with in like forever, lol!
[Was I supposed to take pity on him or something?]
Myself: But I won’t be. Sorry, I’m not interested.
Random Guy: ok, well theres nothing i could say to change ur mind! when u feel an itch, u can hit me up!! its all related though, even if ppl cant see it or feel it right away, its all related!
[Yeah, because I’m going to think of him after this conversation ends.]

*SIGH*

My Top Turn-Off’s On Guy’s Dating Website Profiles

Posted on August 9, 2013 by TiredOfDating

In no particular order here is what you should NOT have on your dating website profile (in addition to the overly used phrases from my previous post)…

1. Pictures of yourself with someone who a stranger might believe is/was your girlfriend. (Sisters included.)
2. Pictures of yourself with your ex-girlfriend obviously cropped out. (Or covered up with a smiley face/black dot/etc.)
3. Pictures of yourself with your girlfriend. (Why are you on a dating website?)
4. Pictures of yourself without your shirt. (Especially when you’re not on the beach or in a pool.)
5. Excessive typos/Misspelled words.
6. A detailed description of your perfect woman.
7. “Just send me a message if you want to know anything about me.” (Why should I do all of the work? The point of your profile is to give me enough information to decide if I want to send you a message.)
8. Pictures of yourself taken in a mirror, in your bathroom, with your phone in the picture. (Though, I’ll usually let it slide if you have more pictures and your shirt’s on.)
[I will update this list as I think of more…]

“Bisexual” On Dating Websites

Posted on August 7, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Did you know that apparently a lot of couples are on dating websites looking for a third partner? -And apparently they often send messages to girls who have their profiles set to “Bisexual.” Did you know that if you’re a girl and you set your profile to “Bisexual” on a dating website you will get a lot more messages from guys who are close to twice your age and ignore the age range in which you’ve indicating you’re interested in dating. And did you know that girls hardly ever reply to messages on dating websites? Well, I have confirmed all of these things to be true over the last few days. I guess I’m not surprised, but I was just hoping to be. And so, dating websites continue to cause me to sigh as I sign into them. A friend suggested I try going to a lesbian bar. Why did this not occur to me sooner? I suppose I’ll make a post summarizing how that goes when I get a chance to head over there (probably within the next two weeks.)

I would feel more confident in taking my break from guys if only I felt there were any girls I’d like who’d also have interest in me. I can only really confirm two girl-crushes I’ve had and neither of them are available. I’ve also been feeling a little paranoid about how those who know me might perceive this in some sort of negative way. I know I’ve personally yelled an intoxicated “attention-whores!” at two straight girls who were making out at a bar so that guys would buy them more drinks (–Of course, only because I was aware my outburst would never be heard over the music blasting.) I just don’t want anyone else to think I’m trying to attract the interest of guys by doing this. It’s really just something for myself –and the more I think about it, I’m really surprised this idea never occurred to me sooner. I’ve always said I was bi-curious, interested in hooking up with a girl at some point in my life. I know I’d first decided that some time in my early teens. In the past, I’ve also tried to befriend coworkers of the same sex, because I thought they were attractive…I guess I never really considered taking it a step further and actually trying to date the same sex until now. To my surprise, I’m not the only one. I’ve actually come across a few girls dating profiles who have a similar story. Honestly, right now the idea of meeting an interesting girl is a lot more appealing than meeting an interesting guy. I do feel it’s just a phase, but definitely something I’m seriously pursing at the moment.

Most Frequently Said On Dating Sites

Posted on August 6, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Over the years I’ve skimmed through a great deal of guys’ dating website profiles.
The following is a list of the most frequently written phrases I came across (besides the bit about long walks on the beach…)

1. I’m adventurous and outgoing.
2. I love to travel.
3. I’m tired of the bar scene.
4. I’m down to earth.
5. I’m laid back.
6. It’s hard/weird to write about yourself.
7. I’m not good at writing about myself, just send me a message.
8. The most private thing I’m willing to admit: I’m on a dating website.
[I will update this list when I remember some more of them…]

*Also, when I did a search for straight girls in my age-range I found that many of them mentioned banjos (playing them, wanting to play them, or wanting a guy to play one) and toast (liking it, liking the smell, or disliking the smell.)

So you know, in case you thought you were out there being all unique and original with one of these, now’s your chance to click your “edit profile” button ;-)

Dating Website Conversation #11

Posted on August 1, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Maybe he thought I’d settle for a date if he started with the biggest question…

Random Guy: Will you marry me?
[NAME CENSORED]
Myself: Nope
Random Guy: A drink then?
Myself: No thanks

End Of July Updates

Posted on July 31, 2013 by TiredOfDating

I did it. I just sent my first dating website message to a girl. I guess recently developing my second girl-crush pushed me to it. I have no idea as to what kind of reply I’m going to get, if any. It’s all such unfamiliar territory to me, but I guess my curiosity is winning over my nervousness at this point. I don’t even know what I want the result to be in this experiment. I think it’s more about the experience than the outcome now.

The guy asking me about circumcision from my previous post yesterday finally ended his questioning with some sort of “thank you for your time.” I’m now convinced I was just surveyed for someone’s research project. His final question asked why I never gave much thought to my preference in men being circumcised or not, and asked if it was because only 10% of men in the US aren’t and I’d never been with one. My reply was “Honestly, I really just don’t ever spend much time thinking about penis’s.” That was when the questions ended.

I also have an update from my 7/29 post about relationships on FaceBook: Remember the status update that prompted me to write the post? The same person made a new status update last night, continuing with the entire theme of my post that day. –If you haven’t already, please read “Relationships On FaceBook” to make sense of this…
“hey remember that shit I said 48 hours ago about my relationship ending amicably and whatnot? hahahhahaha oh how young and naive i was”
[Followed by commenting on their own status…]
“the next time you see me sink a half a year into something, if it ain’t a screenplay, punch me in the face. i’m fucking done with this shit”
[And another of their comments…]
“Actually, fuck this. I’m inheriting the dark mindset that caused to hurt me several times in the past 48 hours. I take back what i said. I’m not done with relationships in general, I’m just done with a relationship with her”
[This will be added to the original post as well.]

Still No Luck Dating

Posted on July 28, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Wow, three days without a post. I guess that’s what happens when you make a blog about dating and experience dateless days. Maybe I should turn this into weekly updates rather than daily. Anyway, I don’t really have anything going on in my dating life right now. I did do a little bar hopping with some friends this weekend and found myself noticing the girls more than guys. I think it was a combination of browsing too many lesbian profiles on these dating sites, wanting to feed my curiosity, and my increasing boredom with men/tiredness of dating. I’m actually considering messaging some of the girls who’s profiles I’d bookmarked, after a conversation with a straight girl I had yesterday. She told me about her one girl crush and that she had a good experience the one time she dated a lesbian. …And in other news, I haven’t been getting too many messages on the sites from anyone interesting, so I just have some short conversations turning guys down…

Random Guy: hey there!
Myself: Hello…Didn’t leave much room for any other reply, really…

Random Guy: hi beautiful how you doing tonight.
Myself: I’m alright, but you forgot an “are.”
Random Guy: ok ? lol
Random Guy: how are you doing…u serious lol
Myself: I’m still alright, and yeah -You lost a “y” and an “o” that time.
[hehe how annoying am I?…I wanted to make a comment about him missing question marks too.]

Random Guy: #yesplease
Myself: No thank you.
Random Guy: Hahaha ouch

Do Guys Have It Harder On Dating Websites?

Posted on July 24, 2013 by TiredOfDating

I’m starting to think guys have it harder on dating websites than girls. It’s known that there are more men than women on these sites, so that’s already an advantage for straight women (as far as more of a selection goes), but does it go beyond that? I haven’t done any proper research, but most of the guys I speak to tell me that they get very few replies to their messages, and fewer initial messages from girls. I wonder if it has something to do with the classic “the guy asks the girl out”, rather than the other way around. I think it’s become less of a big deal for a girl to make the first move today, but it seems that most guys are still the ones to approach the girl. -And of course most marriage proposals are definitely still being done by the man as well. Not to mention more women are still skeptical about meeting a stranger from the internet than men fear meeting a strange women. So, some work goes into maintaining the idea that they’re not just some creep.
A male friend of mine recently signed up with one of the dating websites I frequent. He asked me to fix up his profile a little. I spent about three hours logged in as him and was surprised I didn’t get a single message. The ten messages he’d sent out remained unanswered. I also discovered that it isn’t easy to speak highly of yourself and not sound completely cocky, as a guy. After some difficulty with the task, I wound up leaving a sort of testimonial for him on his profile, as myself. It was a sort of experiment. Either girls would be turned off by it, or they’d find it cute and be intrigued that another girl had such great things to say about him. It’s been about a week since that experiment and you know, he’s gotten a few replies to the first messages he sent out, a few new messages from others, and has even progressed one conversation off of the website and into texts. I take most of the credit for getting him to that point on the site –But he’s still claiming some sort of 20% that I’m not sure he deserves credit for from the start ;-) …It’s also not the first time I’ve heard of a girl helping a guy fill out his profile, or a guy making suggestions to a girl about hers. Sometimes I wonder if we’re all just falling for each other’s profiles written by someone else…

In other news…During another night tired of dating websites, I tried fooling around with my search options. I spent some time looking at some 0% matches and you know, it made me pretty happy I’m not with any of those guys. Some of them were just awful and while I still haven’t found whatever it is I’m searching for, sometimes it’s nice to know who I don’t have to end up with. I was also wondering about the guy who wanted a girl who would go out to the club with him every night. Why is he looking for her online? Wouldn’t he have better luck finding her at the club? -Oh, and today I received a message from a guy who I’m pretty sure has tried to contact me a few times in the past. His message wasn’t so bad, but today I squinted at his picture and went “Does he…Is that…” and upon closer inspection, yes that was a puppet on his hand. It could have been the fact that he also happened to be unattractive, but I never knew what a turn off a puppet could be. I just don’t see myself dating a ventriloquist. The picture just made me frown upon coming across his profile. -Does that exist? Different expressions people made upon viewing different dating website profiles in some sort of video? Well, It should exist, anyway.

Dating Website Conversation #3

Posted on June 17, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Here’s a conversation from a couple of weeks ago…

Random Guy: id own you
Myself: Creepy.
Random Guy: Your creepy? I though you were cute
Myself: Your message is very creepy.

The Dating Website Profile That Started This Blog

Posted on June 17, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Honestly, what really sparked the idea for this blog was someone’s dating website profile I came across a couple of days ago. I received the message, “hey what’s up” from a random guy and I replied after I proceeded to read his profile. The page contained a long winded paragraph beginning with “I’m divorced. (Well, technically still married, but I haven’t spoken to her in over a year so it shouldn’t bother you.)” –And continuing with a detailed record of when and how they were married and that it was only because he found it to be beneficial on paper. He stated the marriage was purely for her to gain citizenship. He goes on to say that he doesn’t have any children and his wife is living in another country so none of his marriage should be a problem to anyone. The paragraph ends with “I probably won’t get divorced until I meet someone new.” The next section of his profile mentions that he used to sell pot, followed by a section in which he claims he has unpaid parking tickets. It sounded more like some sort bait for the government to find than anything else. Confused as to why someone would have this on their dating profile, I replied expressing my amusement. This continued for quite a few messages. I will only post a few excerpts from it as it’s incredibly long. I’d love to quote his exact profile, but he deleted all I’d mentioned during our conversation. Apparently he agreed with my opinion, but not enough to admit it. His profile really spoke for itself and I wish I’d have saved a copy for this!

Also, note that I didn’t call him any names or insult him as a person. I apologized for hurting his feelings multiple times, and ignored the names he called me –and he called me quite a few. I even ignored when he insulted my appearance by saying he should have checked my profile picture before messaging me (though, it’s impossible to send someone a message without first viewing their profile picture…) -Yet he still concluded that I had been a negative force. He even said that his marriage wasn’t any of my business, though he’d publicly written all about it on his page and messaged me. I think this was the profile in which I felt, “Now I’ve heard it all” about. It contained nearly every “no-no” in the book for your dating website profile and I just thought “And these are the types of people I have to weed through on here. I bet a lot of people would share my opinion on this…”

Random Guy: the way you sound-bited my marriage history really makes it sound bad.
Myself: I copy and pasted what you wrote on your page.
Random Guy: being an ex-weed dealer isn’t illegal nor is being married on paper
i feel stupid having to explain this, but you were pretty off.
Random Guy: I married my girlfriens so she could come to the US. There are legal proceedings for that. Plus its none of your biz. I can’t get arrested for selling pot 10 years ago. Congrats on being a negative force in the universe today. You’ve done well.

Introductory Post & Disclaimer

Posted on June 17, 2013 by TiredOfDating

Hello Readers!

Like many people, I’m tired of dating. I’ve created this blog to vent my frustrations and share some anecdotes of my experiences in the world of dating. I hope to make light of some of the interactions I have in my dating experiences and experiments. My goal is to feel united with others involved in the same struggles as myself and perhaps offer them the same type of comfort/closure. We’ll see where it goes from there!

Let me please preface this by stating that I admit I am by far not the perfect date
and have just as many flaws as the next person. I plan on remaining anonymous
and ask that those who know who I am respect my anonymity as well. I also promise
that I will never expose anyone’s real name/username in my entries or provide
information which may lead to their exposure. Though, I do plan on making fun
of situations and conversations, let me be clear that it is not my intention to
cause any emotional stress or harm to those I write about or quote. I respect
those individuals I speak of as people, and by no means do I feel overall superior
to them. I truly wish them all the best of luck in their own dating endeavors and hope
that if any of them were to stumble across this they would not be deterred from
any future relationships. I sincerely apologize in advance for anyone who I may
upset in these entries.

Please refrain from negative comments and know that I do not regularly go trolling the internet for my amusement at the expense of others. Also, please note that I was never the first to begin any of the conversations I share from my online dating experiences. Any time in which I may come off as mean, please keep in mind that I’m a good person who’s just extremely frustrated.